I took Friday off from work in order to rest up for the intensive. This was a very good idea because I slept a good part of the day. And I was still tired Friday night. It was a terrible day emotionally for me since I was still upset over the breakup. Then I got an email from my ex just before I left for the intensive that made me feel distressed again.

I had some caffeine and aspirin and left for the intensive. I felt emotionally like a basket case when I arrived. I could only go through the motions of being there and appearing halfway normal. I know my energy was terrible, I was agitated and I couldn't sit down. I didn't want to connect with anyone. When I did sit no one wanted to sit beside me - who could blame them!

Laurie (the leader of the intensive) began talking about how she had been with us for the last two weeks. She asked if anyone had different sleep patterns. She asked something else. Then she asked if any of us had issues come up that we thought we were over and done with but they came up with intensity and hit us over the head. That was me. I really began paying attention. She said to make a list of issues and old patterns I want to let go of for Sunday. Well, I could do that.

Saturday - We learned a lot.

Sunday - We learned a lot more.

My personal journal chronicles the weekend in wonderful detail and I am so glad because I love to read about it. But here on my website I am just going to write a little about the final visualizations that we did as we were pronounced Reiki Masters.

Sunday - I arrived early for the meditation that (according to Laurie) would change my life. I was willing for anything or nothing to happen.

So we began. The meditation was much like on Saturday. .... Then, we went to a room behind our eyes and I went through the blue door into the corridor of light and from there I traveled to the plane of enlightenment. Up past the moon until finally I was in a place of great light. For me it was like a giant outdoors. I went through a huge and ancient oak door with vines over it and iron holding the wood together and came into the vast outdoors. I could see the Crystal Palace in the distance. Alyssa (my guide) was there dressed as she had been the day before. There were many beings there. Then Laurie said we were to meet the Grand Master. The crowds parted and he came toward me. He was dressed in robes (purple I think) and he took my hands in his and gazed into my eyes. His gaze was full of love and I just looked into his eyes. I saw his face clearly but I mostly saw the eyes that were the kindest most loving eyes I had ever seen. It was like I knew him very well and loved him and worshiped him. I know the main things for me to do in this lifetime are to give love, receive love, and align myself with god. And he told my name was Raku - meaning 'one who brings down the energy'. And I thought no that cannot be my name that is a powerful Reiki symbol how egocentric of me. But he said again that my name was Raku. He gave me a round many faceted crystal with light streaming out from it. He told me to place this in my heart when I returned to my body. The three immediate things for me to do are to remove blocks to energy (cords), create my Reiki room, and send love to the world leaders. When I returned to my body I placed the round crystal in my heart with joy.

When I got home that night I wrote in my journal:

"I am now a Reiki master with lineage. This was intense and required/resulted in much personal growth on my part. Thank you to Laurie, her guides, and my guides".

I was still a little unsure about that name though......

The next morning was my birthday. I have a habit on my birthdays of getting up early and being deep in meditation by the time of my birth - 5:07am. It can be interesting and this day was no exception!

For my birthday I was up at 4:00am. I ate some cereal, did some meditation and then some reiki on myself. I began to meditate not to make something happen but to be grateful for all that had happened this weekend. I was with Alyssa on the enlightenment plane. The plane was beautiful and outdoors and the Crystal Palace could be seen in the distance. I was thinking about giving, receiving, and aligning myself with god. I promised to do that for the next fifty years of my life(or how many are left). I was in the midst of a celebration. The masters on this plane were celebrating my birthday with me. I was with Alyssa and we were such good companions. She is always with me. She is my Reiki Master in Spirit. She was still dressed in her beautiful ceremonial robes and headpeace. It flowed from her in a shimmer of iridescent colors. I wanted to have a beautiful dress too and we sort of imagined me in a dress of blue/violet. It was a celebration. People were happy and around me and around each other. There was singing - Celebration, dance to the music - and Always may god's love be with you. I saw the Grand Master again to thank him and to try to sense what his role was in my life. He greeted me and called me Raku. I saw myself as Raku and I saw the raku come through me. (The raku symbol in Reiki is like a lightning bolt). I saw it come down my spine and out my hands. Over and over I saw it. I was saying to myself and hearing it from the Grand Master as it was 5:07am - I am Raku, I am Raku, I am Raku. There was such a sense of power. There was much joy and a sense of coming home. It seemed that as I brought the energy down it was coming from him. It seemed that if I needed special information on healing it would come from him. It seemed to me that I promised to work with him forever. That I was Raku - a child of god. I was very grateful to the Grand Master and so excited and overwhelmed to have met him. I thought that I only just met him yesterday in Reiki class but it felt as though I was coming home. If I felt myself creating cords of attachment in the physical plane all I had to do was imagine a white fire surrounding my body and that would dissolve the cords. This would keep me as a clear channel for the energy - for the raku. As long as I do this I can see myself as Raku and I can work with this enlightenment plane to bring healing energy onto the planet. I am Raku. While I was there I allowed myself to give love, to receive love, and I aligned myself with god. After about 10 minutes of experiencing the things I have written about, I said goodbye to all and to Alyssa and walked through the door back into the corridor of light and back into the room behind my eyes and thus back into my body.

I wrote in my journal:

"This was a very special birthday moment for me. My fiftieth birthday party. Thank all of you for being with me in spirit and in healing intent. God Bless us all.

Deborah Raku"

My journal is a mix of my writing about my life and my guides writing to me giving me insight and compassion. From then on in my journal my guides only call me Raku.